The Turkish Driver’s Guide
I drove over 5000 kilometers in three weeks in Turkey, and can authoritatively say that Turkish drivers are some of the worst in the world. They are so bad that it got me thinking that they must be operating from a different driver’s manual. Sure enough, they are. I had a friend translate the most important rules from the official Turkish Driver’s Guide, which I list below:
| 1. | On a two-way road, the middle line indicates where the middle of your car should be. |
| 2. | A flashing red light is no different than a flashing yellow light – both should be ignored. |
| 3. | If you pass with no room between you and oncoming traffic, it is their responsibility to swerve into the ditch. |
| 4. | Signs indicating the speed limit are for comic value only. Three times the posted speed is just fine. |
| 5. | When stopped at a traffic light, with one or more cars in front of you, you must honk as soon as the light goes green to make sure the front car knows it is time to go. |
| 6. | To make a left turn, swing onto the right shoulder and then madly swerve left (without signaling) |
| 7. | Do not signal – ever – it is a sign of fear. |
| 8. | Flashing your lights is the best way to indicate your displeasure with another driver’s performance. |
| 9. | At a two-lane intersection with traffic lights, three (or preferrably four or five) cars should line up shoulder to shoulder and race into the correct lanes once the light goes green. |
| 10. | When overtaking, it is best to return to your lane as soon as your back bumper clears the front bumper of the slower vehicle. |
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